Since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, I have received several questions on whether this situation has impacted my outlook on what I call “my strategic acts of selfishness”. It is all well and good to act as such under normal circumstances, but do my philosophies apply as well during our current times? Does the current situation call for an adjustment? 

For those who have not read my blogs on this topic, I’ll give a quick recap on what I call my strategic acts of selfishness. These acts are the equivalent of putting on your own safety mask first in an airplane. They empower you to become aware of what you need to function optimally in terms of sleep, exercise, mental triggers, relaxation, etc., and then purposefully plan these necessary things first before planning anything else in your life. This allows you to be fully present with friends and family, perform at your best at work with enough energy for others, maintain enough brain space for creativity and innovation, and live a more fulfilled and happy life. Simple, right?

But what if you are so worried that Covid-19 will spread to your loved ones or self that it impacts your sleep? What if your preferred mode of relaxing is not possible anymore because the gym is closed? What if the increased workload becomes so high that there does not seem to be enough time to plan your strategic acts? It might even feel that continuing to plan these acts feels simply selfish rather than strategically selfish.

 Replacement guilt will not help

 Let me first say that it feels almost awkward to be writing this while so many people are either suffering from Covid-19 or risking their health to treat these patients. Why should I even bother writing this, while so many others are living through more impactful events? 

 This sort of guilt is not uncommon; I often have it myself. Even now, in this situation, I believe it might stem from a Calvinistic approach that we have no right to feel bad about a situation when someone else is in an even worse state. It is such a shame. We can still empathize with the sick and applaud the brave whilst at the same time take care of ourselves — and we should. Not doing so will only sap more energy away from us and make it harder to contribute where we can.

 What has helped me, then, to stay strategically selfish in this last month of home office-work and social distancing?

 Reinforcing purpose does help

Reinforcing my purpose has been very important. I feel very privileged to work in an industry and for a company where I can have an impact now; that has engaged me more than I can say. The fact that my team feels the same way has doubled that effect. Being mindful of this positivity, saying it out loud, and sharing my experiences at work and with my friends and family has helped me stay engaged and energized through this challenging period.

 Hyper awareness of my needs

Now that many of the ways I normally use to recharge are cut off, I have had to take a deep dive into why I choose these options and find replacements. Some replacements are easy; a home gym is less sociable than a normal gym, but it does work and allows me to flex my muscles. Walking to the office and supermarket still enables me to both get my daily steps and leverage the thinking and relaxation mode that walking usually offers me. However, this is all more functional than fun — which makes it the equivalent of astronaut food where a restaurant or even a streetcar dining experience would be more mentally fulfilling.

 Before now, I had never fully realized the significant positive mental impact of maintaining social contacts at work and in the gym. I miss seeing familiar faces. Human beings, even the most introverted ones, are intensely social. This socialization is expressed almost unconsciously and so much more than we usually realize. The positive side of that coin is an increase in gratitude for our normal state of being. The more challenging side was that I needed to find alternatives. Joining online gym environments is a start; leveraging WebEx with video for team meetings offers another approach to socialization. I am sure more will come.

 In addition, I have started other things I know my brain will like, including a ten-week writing class. Now is the time to invest time in something that asks for more time and reflection. In as much as it is allowed, I take walks on roads in Warsaw that I do not yet know; I hope to get to know the city better and build up a friendship with this still relatively new (to me) country. 

 Be kind and empathic

 In the end, I realized that despite forcing my willpower muscle into tip-top shape, it was not always enough — and I have had some dips. Being drained from continuous WebEx meetings made me resent the only medium now available to contact friends and family, a real catch 22. But I let it be, and some occasional tears later, I already felt better; sharing that experience helped even more. 

 Showing vulnerability, a strategic act of kindness, helped enormously. The realization that when I feel that way, others will very likely feel similarly, made me share my dip with more people than I might typically have done, and that also helped. It will help us support each other through these challenging times.   

 Like in a bad movie, the sun began shining day after the dip — the brightness turning my functional walks a bit more of a street food experience. Reflecting on what we go through and putting my thought on paper also helps; it is, for me, a true strategic act of selfishness.

 To come back to the question in the beginning: do strategic acts of selfishness also work in these Covid-19 times? The answer is yes, even more than usual! It might be more difficult to prioritize, and it might be more challenging to realize, but it is needed even more than normal — and the impact will be amplified if we add some strategic acts of kindness.